We leave for Disney on Friday. I'm so excited and the kids are too!! I've worked really hard to get our entire downstairs emptied and ready to be painted while we're gone. That is going to be so nice to come home to.
We're driving down this time and we're stopping in Atlanta to visit family. I'm also excited to see them, we don't get to near enough. We're spending a total of 11 days in Disney and then with the drive time both ways, we'll be gone about 2 weeks. We're staying at the Coronado Springs resort on Disney property. We haven't been there before. They recently remodeled and they are the only moderate resort with queen size beds instead of just the doubles. That will be nice. I just can't wait to get away from everything and relax with my family and have lots of fun too!!
We got our new van and it's so nice. It has so many different things going on that I'll probably never learn them all. We got the 2011 Toyota Sienna XLE if you're interested. They asked us to do a small bit in their next commercial. It is airing now for the next few days. Our part is very small. You blink and you'll miss us!! It's also on their website (Kings Toyota). I hate that you can't even see Joshua's face, but oh well, that's the footage they used.
I need to get baby boy ready for bed now, so I'm off. I know a lot of you want to see the pictures Sonya took, but you'll have to wait until we get back because I packed the cd away with all of our other stuff from the downstairs. Sorry, but I'll post them soon. They're really good!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
A European Vacation of Sorts
When we first arrived in the NICU (it's actually called the RCNIC at our children's hospital, it stands for Regional Center for Newborn Intensive Care), we were given a little "welcome" packet. In it was this short story that really hit home with me. When I read it, I really felt like someone understood how I felt. When you're in this kind of situation, you kind of feel very alone. You can be surrounded by friends and family and still feel that way. You know that no one you know can even begin to understand how this situation is. It hurts to feel that way. It's hard. It's these times that if you're not a believer, I don't know how you'll ever get through it. But alas, we're through it and the sky is clear now and Joshua is healed and Daddy and I are working on healing our emotional scars. In fact we're planning a 4 day getaway in a few months to do just that. So anyway, I just wanted to share this short story that I felt really helped me know that some people do know how this feels and I'm not alone:
Welcome to Holland
By Carol Turkington
When you're going to have a baby it's like you're planning a trip to Italy. You're excited. You get a bunch of guidebooks, you learn a few phrases in Italian so you can get around, and then it comes time to pack your bags and head for the airport in Italy.
Only, when you land, the stewardess says, "Welcome to Holland." You look at one another in disbelief and shock, saying, "Holland?? What are you talking about? I signed up for Italy! But I don't know anything about Holland! I don't want to stay" you say.
But you do stay, you go out and buy some new guidebooks, you learn some new phrases, and you meet people you never knew existed. The important thing is that you are not in some filthy, plague-infested slum full of pestilence or famine. You are simply in a different place than you had planned. It's slower paced than Italy, but after you've been there a little while and have had a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills, Holland has Rembrandts.
But everyone else you know is busy coming and going from Italy. They're all bragging about what a great time they had there, and for the rest of you life, you will say, "yes, that what I had planned."
The pain of that will never, ever go away.
You have to accept that pain, because the loss of that dream, the loss of that plan is a very, very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Of Scars and Band-Aids
Today Joshua is 5 months old!! And he is done with medical care!! He had his central line removed on Monday and that was the final step. He is now living solely on his bottle feeds and not longer has IV feeds. He has gone from this:
to this:
All that he has left is a scar (actually 3 scars, there are 2 small ones from the ostomies right below the diaper line) and a band-aid that covers the healing spot where the central line was. The redness is from the bandage he had on there previously. He has very sensitive skin and it turns red very easily. So he has the big scar across the belly that should get lighter and lighter over time. They used the same spot for both surgeries so he'll only have the one scar.
I can't believe we've gotten here finally. It is such a relief and a joy. We are just so blessed that our baby is healed. It's almost too good to be true!! He is growing so much and learning new things all the time. He laughs and smiles at us so much, it just melts my heart. He's a big talker too. He loves to just babble and babble. He's really into playing with toys now too. He likes to feel and look at rattles and rings. And of course he loves to put them in his mouth. He also loves to suck on his fingers. He's working on sitting up and can sit for just a few seconds right now. He still hasn't gotten rolling over down, but we've been keeping him from laying on his tummy too much because he had the iv line on there that would be uncomfortable to lay on. So we're working on rolling now that it's gone. He weighs almost 17 pounds now. He is drinking 150 ml (5 ounce) bottles now about every 3-4 hours (even at night, ugh!!).
I am still pumping breastmilk for him, but we've had a bit of drama with that over the past few weeks. We realized after he had several adverse reactions to certain bottles (pulling away from the bottle, gagging, letting it dribble out of his mouth), that something was wrong with my frozen breastmilk. After doing some research we realized that it had all soured. It wasn't a matter of storage because the milk I pumped at the hospital and they stored there was soured as well as the milk I stored here at home. So I can't use any of it. I read that some women have a high level of an enzyme that breaks down the fat in the milk too quickly or something like that. So I'm guessing that is what my problem is, but I'm not sure. I just know that I have to throw all of those gallons of milk out and it breaks my heart to do it. When we found that out, I spent several days pumping every 2 hours (about every 4 through the night) trying to increase my supply, but it just didn't work. So after talking with his doctors we are now mixing the breastmilk I pump fresh with Similac. Part of me is so bummed that he's now getting formula, but I can't beat myself up about it. I've been pumping daily for 5 months and it's very difficult. He's healthy and growing and that's the important part. I think I'll probably pump a few more weeks and then we'll see from there. I don't know if I'll pump over our vacation or not. Maybe just in the mornings and evenings. I don't know though.
So our vacation is in 15 days. We will be gone for a total of 14 days. We are staying at Coronado Springs this time. We haven't stayed there before and wanted to try it. It's the only moderate resort with queen size beds!! I'm really excited about it. I started our packing list today and that always gets me excited. We were planning to not do the dining plan this time, but in the end decided to go ahead and do it. We've really just gotten so used to having the nice meals, that we can't go without it. Having been through what we have over the past 5 months, walking down Main Street USA and seeing that castle welcoming us again, will be such a relief and a true signal to the "rest of our life". We can finally breathe again and get on with our lives. I've had so many dreams about how purely happy I'll be when we get there with my 3 children. It's so close now, I'm so excited.
Our other exciting news is that we're getting a new van. We're picking it up tomorrow. It's a 2011 Toyota Sienna. The 2011 models just arrived earlier this month. It's red with tan interior and has lots of cool accessories. It'll be fun to drive down to Disney in our new van. I spent the night tonight cleaning out our old van and I got emotional. We're trading it in, and I'm a little bummed about that. Am I the only one who gets sentimental about these things? We've had this van for 5 years and there's been lots of memories associated with it. We drove home from Texas in it, used it to move from our apartment to our new home, used it to keep us and the kids warm when we were building our new house in the winter, drove to Disney, Gatlinburg, Chicago, slept in at the hospital parking garage, brought Joshua home in it and on and on. I'll be sad to see it go, but I'm happy we're getting a new van with every safety feature available. That makes it worth it!
Well that's it for now. I'm ready to go pump and go to bed. Thanks for all the prayers, it worked!! He's healed and we're moving on with our life. I couldn't be more blessed, thrilled and in awe of God's goodness. Just look at these three blessings. What beautiful babes they are.
to this:
All that he has left is a scar (actually 3 scars, there are 2 small ones from the ostomies right below the diaper line) and a band-aid that covers the healing spot where the central line was. The redness is from the bandage he had on there previously. He has very sensitive skin and it turns red very easily. So he has the big scar across the belly that should get lighter and lighter over time. They used the same spot for both surgeries so he'll only have the one scar.
I can't believe we've gotten here finally. It is such a relief and a joy. We are just so blessed that our baby is healed. It's almost too good to be true!! He is growing so much and learning new things all the time. He laughs and smiles at us so much, it just melts my heart. He's a big talker too. He loves to just babble and babble. He's really into playing with toys now too. He likes to feel and look at rattles and rings. And of course he loves to put them in his mouth. He also loves to suck on his fingers. He's working on sitting up and can sit for just a few seconds right now. He still hasn't gotten rolling over down, but we've been keeping him from laying on his tummy too much because he had the iv line on there that would be uncomfortable to lay on. So we're working on rolling now that it's gone. He weighs almost 17 pounds now. He is drinking 150 ml (5 ounce) bottles now about every 3-4 hours (even at night, ugh!!).
I am still pumping breastmilk for him, but we've had a bit of drama with that over the past few weeks. We realized after he had several adverse reactions to certain bottles (pulling away from the bottle, gagging, letting it dribble out of his mouth), that something was wrong with my frozen breastmilk. After doing some research we realized that it had all soured. It wasn't a matter of storage because the milk I pumped at the hospital and they stored there was soured as well as the milk I stored here at home. So I can't use any of it. I read that some women have a high level of an enzyme that breaks down the fat in the milk too quickly or something like that. So I'm guessing that is what my problem is, but I'm not sure. I just know that I have to throw all of those gallons of milk out and it breaks my heart to do it. When we found that out, I spent several days pumping every 2 hours (about every 4 through the night) trying to increase my supply, but it just didn't work. So after talking with his doctors we are now mixing the breastmilk I pump fresh with Similac. Part of me is so bummed that he's now getting formula, but I can't beat myself up about it. I've been pumping daily for 5 months and it's very difficult. He's healthy and growing and that's the important part. I think I'll probably pump a few more weeks and then we'll see from there. I don't know if I'll pump over our vacation or not. Maybe just in the mornings and evenings. I don't know though.
So our vacation is in 15 days. We will be gone for a total of 14 days. We are staying at Coronado Springs this time. We haven't stayed there before and wanted to try it. It's the only moderate resort with queen size beds!! I'm really excited about it. I started our packing list today and that always gets me excited. We were planning to not do the dining plan this time, but in the end decided to go ahead and do it. We've really just gotten so used to having the nice meals, that we can't go without it. Having been through what we have over the past 5 months, walking down Main Street USA and seeing that castle welcoming us again, will be such a relief and a true signal to the "rest of our life". We can finally breathe again and get on with our lives. I've had so many dreams about how purely happy I'll be when we get there with my 3 children. It's so close now, I'm so excited.
Our other exciting news is that we're getting a new van. We're picking it up tomorrow. It's a 2011 Toyota Sienna. The 2011 models just arrived earlier this month. It's red with tan interior and has lots of cool accessories. It'll be fun to drive down to Disney in our new van. I spent the night tonight cleaning out our old van and I got emotional. We're trading it in, and I'm a little bummed about that. Am I the only one who gets sentimental about these things? We've had this van for 5 years and there's been lots of memories associated with it. We drove home from Texas in it, used it to move from our apartment to our new home, used it to keep us and the kids warm when we were building our new house in the winter, drove to Disney, Gatlinburg, Chicago, slept in at the hospital parking garage, brought Joshua home in it and on and on. I'll be sad to see it go, but I'm happy we're getting a new van with every safety feature available. That makes it worth it!
Well that's it for now. I'm ready to go pump and go to bed. Thanks for all the prayers, it worked!! He's healed and we're moving on with our life. I couldn't be more blessed, thrilled and in awe of God's goodness. Just look at these three blessings. What beautiful babes they are.
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