When we first arrived in the NICU (it's actually called the RCNIC at our children's hospital, it stands for Regional Center for Newborn Intensive Care), we were given a little "welcome" packet. In it was this short story that really hit home with me. When I read it, I really felt like someone understood how I felt. When you're in this kind of situation, you kind of feel very alone. You can be surrounded by friends and family and still feel that way. You know that no one you know can even begin to understand how this situation is. It hurts to feel that way. It's hard. It's these times that if you're not a believer, I don't know how you'll ever get through it. But alas, we're through it and the sky is clear now and Joshua is healed and Daddy and I are working on healing our emotional scars. In fact we're planning a 4 day getaway in a few months to do just that. So anyway, I just wanted to share this short story that I felt really helped me know that some people do know how this feels and I'm not alone:
Welcome to Holland
By Carol Turkington
When you're going to have a baby it's like you're planning a trip to Italy. You're excited. You get a bunch of guidebooks, you learn a few phrases in Italian so you can get around, and then it comes time to pack your bags and head for the airport in Italy.
Only, when you land, the stewardess says, "Welcome to Holland." You look at one another in disbelief and shock, saying, "Holland?? What are you talking about? I signed up for Italy! But I don't know anything about Holland! I don't want to stay" you say.
But you do stay, you go out and buy some new guidebooks, you learn some new phrases, and you meet people you never knew existed. The important thing is that you are not in some filthy, plague-infested slum full of pestilence or famine. You are simply in a different place than you had planned. It's slower paced than Italy, but after you've been there a little while and have had a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills, Holland has Rembrandts.
But everyone else you know is busy coming and going from Italy. They're all bragging about what a great time they had there, and for the rest of you life, you will say, "yes, that what I had planned."
The pain of that will never, ever go away.
You have to accept that pain, because the loss of that dream, the loss of that plan is a very, very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland!
1 comment:
My friend ahs a child with special needs and she sent me that a few years ago. It was a little longer I think. It hit me hard to. It made sense. She was floored with the news. She has gotten used to the new country, she says and wouldn't ever go to Italy. Thanks for sharing!
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