But anyway, today Noah has a doctors appointment and we both have eye appointments. So in between those times, we're going to do "vanschooling", I love doing things differently and since we have about 2 1/2 hours in between the two scheduled times, I thought we could pull off at a park in Mason and do school in the van. If it were nicer out, we might do it outside, but I think it's supposed to rain by the afternoon.
Ok, my next big dilemma concerns a mom of a kid on Noah's baseball team. Last year, there was a kid that Noah knew from school (they were not in the same class or anything, he just knew who he was), well they were on the same team and his Mom talked to me a lot through the games and she invited us to her house. So we went and let me just say that within the first minute, I couldn't wait to get out of there. Sonya knows this story. She has two sons, one Noah's age and one a little younger than Abby. Her younger son suffers from asthma, pretty badly apparently. She has told me before that she wasn't sure what caused her son to have such bad ashtma. Well as soon as we arrived, she wanted to make lunch, so we all went into the house and she immediately lights up a cigarette in front of my kids and her kids. Hello Lady!! That's why your kid has such bad asthma. I immediately made my kids go outside and play, and made them stay out there the rest of the time we were there. The smoking wasn't my only problem with her, but it was my biggest. She also had a teenage nephew staying with her for the summer and the whole time our 4 kids were outside playing in the inflatable pool thingy, he just sat there staring at them. So that really creeped me out. So if anyone knows me, they know I hate confrontation. So I tried desperately to avoid starting something there. I figured if I just kept the kids away from her today, we won't have to deal with it anymore because we won't come back. Maybe I should've said something for her kids sake, but I've learned from personal experience that commenting on ones addictive behavior, usually doesn't come with good consequences. So anyway, the season was about over at that point and she didn't invite us again or anything, so I thought whew, I made it through that one!! Well last night, Steve took Noah to practice (they just started practicing again) and Noah walks in and says Mommy, Hunter's Mom said HI! Oh no!! He's on our team again. We have like 20 games and probably 10 practices that I have to deal with her again. What am I going to do??????? She told my husband that she left her phone out in the rain and she lost my number. I thought I had just gotten off easy, but no, she just lost my number! So last night, Steve and I were joking about the things I could do or say to her, so she wouldn't invite us to do anything!! I said maybe I have an infectious disease, maybe homeschooling keeps us sooo busy, even in the summer!! Maybe I could just pretend to be on my cell phone the whole time and couldn't talk to her!! Of course I'll never do any of those things, but what should I do when she inevitably walks up and invites us to do something. I really need to get a backbone here and just tell what I think, but I'd really rather not!!!! Anyway, so other than the usual cluttered house, changing homeschool, giant pile of laundry and unmade dinner, I have this to worry about!! And I am dreading it!!
4 comments:
Wow, only 5 weeks left!!! That's great! Classical approach sounds cool.
About your dilema, I would just be honest and direct about not wanting your kids around cigarette smoke. That's your right as a parent. I wouldn't say anything to her about her smoking around her children just because that's more of a confrontational statement but letting her know that you don't want your kids around it, isn't confrontational at all. I hope you are able to figure out a solution you are comfortable with!!
wow, she is already asking abotu you? holy cow. Well, i knwo you won't do as crys has suggested becasue it is just not you. You would rather eat the ciagarettes than confront her about them.
So, I have 2 suggestions but i am not sure they would work as well as just telling her that you are not interested in getting together as nicely as possible.
My first suggestion is that you invite her (stay with me) when you meet me at the museum. I could bring up with all 3 of us there about a time (true) when someone tried to smoke around my kids and mention that "Jamie is totally freaked about that too" or something like that. Then it would be me and not you!
Or, you could establish an email relationship with her and when you are firming up plans some time kindly mention through email that you have kept your children away from all smoke since they were born (which should be a no brainer for every parent..hello..cancer?) and maybe she will get it then.
Trust me, everyone will say how horrible it is to email her but that is better than avoiding her.
I am here for oyu on this and I know how much this stuff bothers you. I would be willing to call her with a raspy voice and claim to be you adn tell her for oyu kindly. I would for real. Let me know! I am ordering my zoo pass this week. WHOOO HOOOO. I can take any guest with us and 7 children with free parking and free rides on the trolley, tram and carrousel. i decided to go ahead and do that one since i need write offs for my business this year anyway. I forget what elese you posted about.
oh and the reason I said call with a raspy voice is so i could tell her I (you) have a terrible cold. So then it makes sense not to sound like you.
You could always just meet at a neutral place that doesn't allow smoking. Like the museum, a restaurant, a kids playplace or some other place you know doesn't allow smoking. If you go to the zoo or something outside with her you can walk away. I know our zoo only allows smoking in designated areas. You can always say that you would rather not have the kids around smoke. I would think she'd be more thoughtful than that. I had a friend that smoked and she wouldn't even do it in front of the kids for fear they'd want to copy her. If she starts smoking in front of you and the kids, you could just say you would rather not have the kids around cigarette smoke.
Do you just not like her at all? So you want to not even pursue something? If you just like the kids then invite just them over to play. Say "i was thinking that maybe judy and tom would like to come over and play with the kids awhile" and then offer to pick them up. It's a thought. :)
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