Day 20 - The Last Day of September

Today is day 20 of Joshua's life and that leaves just 86 days until Christmas and his hopeful homecoming!! Hey, isn't that nice of me to at least update you all on how many days you have to left to shop before Christmas!!

Joshua had the study done on the upper portion of his intestines and stomach today. We won't really know the results of that until tomorrow morning. It did show that he suffers from some serious reflux. Normally we wouldn't have known that until after he started feeds and was suffering from it, but now that we know ahead of time, we can hopefully alleviate the problem before it starts with some medicine or something. I was the one with him during the test today. It always intimidates me when I go in there for the tests. I've never had to do those kinds of tests for myself, so it's a bit scary for me. But it all went well and he was only mildly upset with us!!

Other than that it was a pretty quiet day. He enjoyed his feeds to the lower portion of his intestines. They actually upped the amount of the feeds to 3ml per hour and they lowered the liquid feeds they're still doing in the iv. He gained weight again and is over 8 pounds now!! Yay, he's just a few ounces away from his birth weight now!! The surgeons on this floor are used to seeing lots of tiny preemies so they always comment on how big he is. I think he's tiny!! I mean my other "babies" are 7 and 9, so compared to them, he's tiny!!! I guess it's all relative.

He's becoming more and more awake and alert everyday. He had several awake periods today and during those he was very alert and looking around and studying mine and Daddy's faces! I can't believe how fast he's changing already. He's such a sweet boy.

Well that's it for today. We may be starting feeds to the upper portion tomorrow (hopefully breastmilk), I'll let you know if that happens. Love you all!

Day 19- Finally Feeding!!

Today is day 19 (yesterday was day 18) of Joshua's life and hospital stay. That leaves us with 87 days until Christmas and a hopeful homecoming. I missed yesterday's update post because I had the night shift at the hospital and didn't get home until almost 11pm and was just too tired to do it.

They have started feeding Joshua in his lower portion of intestines, because the study done on the lower portion showed no blockages. The majority of his intestines are in the lower portion, below where they cut to make the stomas. Because of this, they are comfortable feeding him through there because it can really be digested since it's so long. They started out feeding him breastmilk last night and he fed on that for about 15 hours, then they decided to switch him to a special formula because they felt like since they were bypassing the stomach, the breastmilk may not be being properly digested. I went from so happy to so bummed. At least he got the 15 hours worth! I am however, still very happy that he is feeding at all. I'll take any step forward that I can get! He is being fed continuously through the stoma at the rate of about 2ml per hour right now. He has gained weight again and is close to 8 pounds now. He will be having a study done on the upper portion of intestines either tomorrow or Thursday. Hopefully they'll be able to figure out what is causing the back up there so they can begin oral tube feedings and get rid of that horrible nasal tube and get him back on breastmilk. He has had 3 dirty diapers since starting the feedings yesterday, which is great news!! That means things are working down there as they should!!


Such a sweet little angel!!

The pump set up with breastmilk last night!! I was so excited, I took pictures of everything!! The tag on the tube says human milk!! Soon we'll be back to breastmilk, I know it!!

I guess his jersey was good luck for the Bengals!! Yay!!! I just know they were thinking of this sweet little baby sitting in his hospital crib rooting for them when they won!! At least they should be!!

I had my 2 week check-up today. I'm healing just fine. My blood pressure is now down to normal and I can stop taking the medication for it. I've also lost 35 pounds since giving birth! That's a lot for 19 days!! I only gained 15 during the pregnancy, so I'm down 20 from my pre-pregnancy weight. It's the NICU diet. I only have time to eat quick meals and no time for snacking, plus all the stress is I'm sure helping out as well.

Well I'm off for now. It's dinner time and the kiddies are hungry. I'll update tomorrow if all goes as planned! Oh and I wanted to thank everyone for the kind emails and comments on here. I appreciate it so much. It really helps me get through the days when I get so much love and encouragement. So thank you all so much, you're all appreciated!!

Day 17 - Bengal Pride

Today is day 17 of Joshua's life and hospital stay which leaves us just 89 days until his hopeful homecoming. Yay, we've made it under 90 days now!!

Not too much happened today in Joshua's care, he had a pretty quiet day. Tomorrow things will be different as they do the study of his intestines and possibly insert a feeding tube. And also he may be getting that nasal tube out. So we'll have a lot to share tomorrow. He is still right around 7lbs 11ozs in weight. He is having lots of bowel sounds which is a great sign. It means things are moving in there. It appears that things are moving in the right direction for him and we're so thrilled.

This morning, after we dropped off Daddy at the hospital, the kids and I ran to Wal-Mart. I needed to get Abby some shoes for the fall/winter and while we were there we saw the Bengals jerseys. Noah was already wearing his and so we decided to get Joshua a matching one to Noah's. As I'm typing this, it's the 4th quarter with 4 minutes left, so hopefully it'll bring them some luck!! I just thought he looked so darn cute in the jersey!! I can't wait to bring him home so I can get pictures of Noah and Joshua together in their matching jerseys!!

I stayed with the kids in the morning because they were going to go to a family birthday party with my parents which included a dinner and bowling. They had a great time with that. I've already picked them up and in a few minutes we'll be leaving to go get Daddy. I just have to brag on him for a minute. Boy did I hit the jackpot with him. He has been such a great support and just an awesome Daddy during all of our marriage and especially at this time. I could not do all this without him. I really feel like that's been a blessing to come out of this situation and that's a building of our relationship. I wish that could've happened under easier circumstances, but it is what it is.

Well I need to go pump again before we leave. So have a great night and Who-Dey!! (I hope!!)

15%

Today is day 16 of Joshua's life and hospital stay and that leaves just 90 days to his hopeful homecoming. I did the math today and found out that we're 15% of the way. That's not a whole lot, but it's something. I'm glad to at least have that much done!

Joshua is becoming more and more awake and alert now. He can focus his eyes on your face and stare at you. It's so sweet. He makes lots of sweet little coos and grunts!! I love it so much. I can't wait to bring this little miracle home.

He had a great day. There was a bit of drama with his night nurse, but all has been worked out and is fine now. He slept most of the time today, but did have a few awake periods. He had the hiccups a few times today. He has them at least 2 times a day when I'm with him. He does not enjoy them!! The x-ray of his abdomen from yesterday showed no blockages, so today they stopped the suction on his nasal tube and they are now letting his stomach contents go down into the intestines. They even mentioned maybe letting him have feeds through the mouth tomorrow. Oh what a blessing that would be. I just know he would feel so much better with some food in his belly. I mean he's 16 days old and has never had an ounce of food in his belly. He would love it. I hate it so much when I hold him and he roots around for food. It just breaks my heart knowing I have what he wants, but I just can't give it to him. So hopefully he'll at least be able to get the breastmilk soon, even if it's not straight from the breast. I'll be so relieved when he gets it. He has gained weight the last two days and is now about 7lbs 11ozs now. So he's working his way back up to his birth weight.

My pumping is still going well. I'm getting about 450-550 milliliters per day, which is around 16ozs. I saw a chart today that says most breastfed babies between 1 and 6 months need 19-30ozs per day, so I have some work to do in getting that up, but at least I've made it up to 16. They told me today that my spot in the freezer is quite full and I'm glad to have that stockpile that will help make sure I don't ever run out of milk for him, which I'm of course not thinking will happen. So I'm storing the milk I pump at home, here in our home freezer for now, until he starts eating and using up what's there. Yesterday I was pumping at the hospital and his surgeons (both men) came in to do his dilation, so there I was sitting on the couch pumping while they were talking to me and doing the procedure. It was a little embarrassing, but I'm not about to stop the flow while it's going!!

In other news, Abby and Noah had some fun with Daddy this morning. They went to a Lego Club meeting at the mall and then to a Lowe's build and grow. Then they went to Toys R Us so Abby could spend her birthday gift card that my grandpa got her. She got a Zhu Zhu Pet, which I had never heard of before but she LOVES!! And then they went to Kroger to get more Hostess cakes that were on sale for 1.88. All three of them can't resist the cupcakes!! I bought a couple boxes last night and when Daddy heard how cheap they were, he had to get more!! So they had a great day and now we're all off to bed!!

Half a month down

Today is day 15, which means we have about 91 days to go. 15 days, wow, that's half a month!! I'm torn as to how to feel about that. Happy that we've gotten 15 days done already, and sad that he's already 15 days old and all of his days have spent in the hospital. Oh, I don't know.

So the picture above shows the sign they made for his door. They hung it up today. I think it's cute. Only the babies in private rooms get a cool sign like that, we feel very blessed to have it.

Joshua had a not so good night last night with Daddy. He cried nearly the entire time Daddy was with him and poor Daddy felt horrible about it. He's there with him again tonight and I hope and pray they are having a better night. His day today was pretty good. He was awake for a whole 2 hour spread, sometimes just quiet and looking around and sometimes crying. It wasn't so bad.

I love that boy so much, I just can't even imagine our life without him. The kids love him too. Tonight I was supposed to take the kids to soccer but it was cancelled, so we just went out to Target and Kroger and filled up the bare fridge. At Target, I noticed Noah was in a bad mood and I asked him what was wrong and he said he wanted Joshua to come home. So I guess it is affecting them. It stinks that they can't even go and visit him anymore. I'm trying to show them pictures everyday and update them about him. This is just so not fun.

His health update is that he did pretty well today. He had more green output from his nasal tube and his stoma was dilated for the 3rd time. Still nothing coming out of it. His surgeon came by today and he said we're going to be getting more "aggressive" Monday with his treatment. They are going to do a study of the lower portion of the intestine to be sure there's no blockages there and then they may start feeding him just in the lower portion while the top portion still works itself out. I'll be so happy when they feed him. I just know the breastmilk is going to help him heal. I just know it. So today he had another x-ray for them to check some things out and of course he did not enjoy that as they have to hold him down to do it and he does not like being held down!! His nasal tube got clogged and his belly contents got too full and he vomited some of them up. It scared me to death when it happened because his belly contents are just bile which is bright green. He was fine though, we just had to clean him up and change his clothes. Overall he's doing well, and he looks and is very healthy, he just needs to get off the IV feeds and onto real food! Then we'll be heading in the right direction and all will be happier.

Well that's all for now. Nighty night!

Day 14, the Birthday edition

Our sleepy boy with his Mickey blanket this morning!!

Our private room!! Isn't it beautiful!! Beside his bed is the rocking chair and in the window area is the sleeper sofa. The bathroom is off the left, out of the picture. It's sooo roomy compared to the cramped corner we had in the other room. I love it!!

Today is day 14 (2 weeks!!) of Joshua's life, which means we have about 92 days to go until he comes home.

Today is also Abby's 7th Birthday!! Happy Birthday my baby girl!!!!

Today went pretty well. His output from the nasal tube lessened greatly and was very clear, Praise the Lord!! Tomorrow they may not suction it anymore and just let it go on it's merry way down the intestines!! He had another dilation of the stoma to try and help things along. Hopefully that'll help also. He also had his PICC line replaced. That wasn't much fun for either of us as I was assigned with the job of holding his head still and while he was screaming, that wasn't easy. I felt like such a bad guy trying to keep it still, but I managed. It didn't take too long thankfully and all is well now. He was mostly quiet and sleepy today except for that. I hope he's been that way for Daddy tonight as well (I haven't heard yet). He hasn't gained weight in 2 days because they had to change his IV feeds due to the PICC being misplaced. Again, hopefully tomorrow, that'll get worked out as well.

I also just want to mention how wonderful the Dr's are there. I love them all so far. He has this wonderful resident neonatalogist who always takes time to stop by and see me personally, nearly every day. She is so kind and caring. I just love her and tomorrow is her birthday. I hope I see her so I can tell her happy birthday!!

For Abby's Birthday today I woke up early to make her chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles. I know she loved it because everytime a family member called today to wish her a happy birthday, that was the first thing she told them. I also got her, her favorite meal for dinner: Frisch's kids meal with macaroni and cheese. And since we had her party at the mall and couldn't really do any candle lighting, I got her a hot fudge cake and put candles in it. Noah and I sang to her (Daddy had already left for the hospital) and she blew out the candles. We also read a Curious George Birthday book and while I was gone today, she and Noah enjoyed Beverly Hills Chihuahua in the theater. She said it was a good day and I'm glad. I am relieved to have that over, I don't have another kid birthday until January and hopefully things will be back to normal by then.

The flaming hot fudge cake!! And yes she is still in her pajamas at dinner time. It's her birthday after all, she doesn't have to get dressed!!

Sitting in her special birthday chair!! I decorated it for her as a surprise!!

Abby's birthday book. She loves Curious George.

So that's the update for today. More tomorrow...

T-minus 93

Today is day 13 of Joshua's life and his stay in the hospital which means we have 93 days to go until Christmas, our goal! Daddy sat him up for this picture. I thought it was cute!! Tiffany, if you read this, that's the outfit you got him for his shower that he's wearing under the blanket!!

Today was a bit rough for all of us. Joshua had a few minor procedures, but he doesn't really enjoy any kind of procedure. They began the dilation of his illiostomy, hoping to get it moving. That one didn't bother him too much. Then he had a dressing change for his PICC line (a central iv that goes straight to the heart) and he was not at all happy about that one. Then during the dressing change and his major fit, the line pulled out a tad and they had to order an x-ray to check it's position. Luckily on this floor, that means they bring an x-ray machine to him. So during that, he threw another fit and we found out that indeed the line is not where they want it. So tomorrow, we have to go down to radiology to have a new line put in the same position as the old one. He will not enjoy that either I"m sure! Then because he was so upset with all that, even just the nurses assessments which happen about every 4 hours, really made him angry too. So he wasn't too relaxed today. I think he really just hates the being held down part of most of the procedures, he doesn't enjoy that at all.

I had a migraine most of the day. I think it's stress related. I'm still registering pretty high blood pressure and when I add stress to that, I tend to get a headache these days. I've also been dealing with a lot of the Mom guilt today and this evening I've really been missing my baby. I've sort of gotten used to his little sounds and grunts that he makes and I thought for a split second that I heard him here at home and then of course I remembered that he's not here. That kind of hurt. So I've been kind of down tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for us all.

Oh and just a quick update, he lost a tad bit of weight, but he was also weighed on a different scale this time. His output from his nasal tube turned back to a dark green this morning (not good), but cleared up some by this afternoon (good). Still nothing coming out of him, but maybe soon.

Tomorrow is my darling baby girl's 7th birthday! I'm going to decorate for her tonight as a surprise for her in the morning and I'm going to make her a special breakfast before I leave for the hospital. Then Daddy rented her Beverly Hills Chihuahua and she's going to watch that in the theater downstairs. We already had her party this past Saturday. I'll probably make her favorite food for dinner too, it's just macaroni and cheese! I hope it's enough to make her feel special. Oh no, there goes the Mommy guilt again. I hope she knows I'm doing my best.

Well that's it for now. Goodnight.

94

I love this picture because you get a rare glimpse of his open eyes and he's cuddling his cute little wubba nub binky!!

Today is day 12 and we have 94 to go to Christmas and hopefully Johsua's homecoming. We had a good day today. He gained a little weight again. He's stomach contents are continuing to lessen and become clearer. All good things. Tomorrow is the dilation procedure. They will do it at his bedside, probably in the morning during the surgical rounds. They ordered morphine, so I guess this might not be a comfortable thing for him. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I spoke with the neonatologist today, she's very nice and always stops by to talk to me, and she said when they do this tomorrow he may be able to immediately expel some stool. We're hoping. That's a huge step to being able to be fed some breastmilk. Oh I'm praying it'll happen, if not right away, then very soon.

In other news, we were upgraded to a private room today. I can't even believe I'm typing that!! There's only 11 or so private rooms and between 40 and 50 babies in the regular rooms. I know it's a huge blessing to have been given this. It is going to make our stay a whole lot easier. We have a private bathroom with shower, a pull out sleeper sofa, a rocking chair we don't have to fight to keep in our space, and I can pump in the room and not have to leave Joshua!! Plus, there's a window!!! I am elated about that. I so wanted my son to see and feel sunshine and be able to get glimpses of the beautiful fall. I was so thrilled to see that we had a window!! There's also a desk area with internet access, for us to use, which means Steve can work in the room and not have to leave the area. Plus we have privacy!! No longer, do I have to stare at all the nurses and babies in the shared room. Oh, it's so nice!! I could go on and on. It totally is a huge blessing. I can't believe it!! I'll have pictures of it tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow, we're changing up the schedule so both Steve and I can be at the hospital with Joshua during the procedure and the kids are staying home and Grammy's coming to stay with them. I'll be so glad to see my husband, we've just been passing ships the past couple days!!

Last Thursday we snuck out of the hospital to take Noah and Abby to Disney on Ice. My mom stayed with the baby that night for us, which of course she can't do anymore since they've imposed the new visitor restrictions. So here's just a couple pics from that. With all the smoke and fog they put out with the show, my pictures look terrible. But in case you wanted to see, here they are!! It came at the perfect time, because we had just learned that Joshua would be staying until Christmas and we would have to cancel our planned December Disney trip. So we got just a little taste that night. They did a section of the show devoted to the It's A Small World ride and I got teary eyed!! I love that place!! So that's it for tonight. More tomorrow.

95 Days To Go

Today we have 95 days until Christmas which is our goal to have him home, so that's the countdown I'm doing. It's day 11 of Joshua's life and his stay in the hospital. Today he gained weight. He started out life weighing 8 pounds 8 ounces and after the removal of the cyst and not eating for a while, he had lost over a pound. Now he's back to 7 pounds 9 ounces. His stomach contents are coming out clearer and clearer, this is a great sign. As the intestines heal and allow the contents to come through, what we suck out the nose will be come clearer, so that means he is finally getting things moving in there. He slept most of the day and wasn't too cranky. I held him a lot and got to hold him chest to chest with his head up by mine and we snuggled for awhile. I loved it!!

Daddy is with him this evening while I'm home with Noah and Abby. We had dinner and are spending time together. We're all about to head upstairs for showers and laundry folding. The schedule overall went well today. I may go in earlier and leave a tad earlier to avoid some traffic tie ups. Today he was wearing that cute sleeper in the picture that my mom got him for his baby shower. He almost looks "normal" in that picture. The sleeper hides his many cords and cables and you can just barely see his nose tube. He looks very handsome!!

He has a procedure scheduled for Wednesday to dilate his illiostomy (the stoma that is the end of the upper portion of his intestine) to try and get things moving more. Other than that, we're just waiting for him to get things rolling in there and we can start feeding him breastmilk. I'm stocking up in the meantime!!

Well that's all for today. Goodnight!!!

News

Sorry I don't update much, it's just too hard when I come home so tired. Joshua is doing great health wise. He is off the ventilator now but still is having his stomach contents drained via a tube through his nose because his intestines aren't quite healed enough yet to let the stuff go through. When the color of the drainage turns clear we should be able to move forward with feedings. He is ten days old now and still hasn't eaten anything, they feed him nutrients intravenously, but that doesn't help him with his hunger pains, so because of that he's pretty cranky. Sometimes he's just inconsolable and that's really difficult for me. I want to feed him so bad and he wants to eat so bad but we can't do it. Even when he can eat it'll be by tube so I'll be pumping only for the next 3-4 months. He will need another surgery at the beginning of December because during his first surgery they had to bring out stomas. Those are where they cut the intestine and bring the two ends outside of the body so when he eats, the digested food will come out the first end into a bag and then we re feed that into the second part. They need to control what goes into the lower portion because the colon never grew in utero because there was a blockage preventing anything from going down there. All of his parts are fine and healthy they just need to grow. So in December they'll go back in and reconnect everything and then they believe he will be perfectly fine. BUT.... Joshua is going to have to stay here until after the next surgery. So the goal is to get him home by Christmas. This was shocking news but everyone agrees it's best to keep him here under professional supervision in case any complications arise. Our schedule then is going to be a bit crazy for the next 3 months. Right now the plan for the 5 weekdays is to have me come down early in the morning and stay until about 3:30. Then I'll come home and Steve will come back down around 5 to spend the evening with Joshua. Then Steve will be home around 9 or 9:30. That way Noah and Abby will be able to stay home and have some normalcy to their day and hopefully after a few weeks of adjusting to the schedule we'll be able to add in some school work. Steve will also be able to do work that way. He and I are going to share the schooling duties for now. He can do math and spelling and maybe a few other things and then when I'm home in the evenings I can do the other subjects. We all have to be flexible during these few months and just suck it up and get through it. It sucks, I'm not going to say it doesn't, but what can I do? I have to do the best I can and just survive it. Then I'm hoping they'll be able to spend Friday night with a grand parent and most of Saturday so Steve and I can visit Joshua together and then Sunday I don't know yet. I'm sure the plan will need some adjusting, but that's the first draft of it!!

Today is the last day Joshua can have any visitors other than Steve and I. With the flu problems they've made the rules tighter and now siblings and grandparents are also prohibited. Everyone is really bummed by this because he's only been here 10 days and now visiting for family is over and they won't see him until December. I understand it because of course I do not want him introduced to any germ that can get him sick and make his healing take longer, but it's still hard. The kids seem to be ok with it, they're kind of hard to read right now though. We are going to make scrapbooks for them to keep adding to and I'll get pictures of Joshua all the time for them to add to it. That way they can see how he changes and grows.

Breastfeeding is going ok. I'm pumping pretty regularly and getting a good amount. It's hard finding the time to get over and pump. It's so silly that I have to put down my baby and go in another room to pump milk for him. But I'm doing it and hopefully everything will keep going well in that area.

I never really gave any details about the surgery and it would take a really long post to cover it all, so I'll just do a quick synopsis. Basically Joshua had something that his surgeons had never seen before. His intestines got a small twist which caused a blockage and then backup of meconium. This then caused a perforation in the intestine which allowed the meconium to leak out. The meconium then formed a cyst. These parts were all normal and what was not normal was that cyst sort of formed it's own cavity in his abdomen and everything that was supposed to be running through his intestines, just ran into the cyst. The cyst was as big as his whole abdomen and was attached to the bowel at the back and to the underside of the skin at the front. Basically the surgeon said it was like having saran wrap attached to his bowel and he had to very carefully peel it off. It took several hours to do that, but it was accomplished. Then where the perforation was, is where they cut about 4cm of intestines out (which is apparently a very small amount to lose) and then used those ends to form the stomas. The surgeon said the overall health of our baby was remarkable and how well he did during the surgery was awesome. He keeps reminding us that Joshua is going to be a normal boy very soon, we just have to finish healing, have the next surgery, heal from that and it'll all be over. I can't wait!!! Oh and we got the results of the newborn screen and it was negative for Cystic Fibrosis, Praise the Lord!!! One less thing to worry about!! Our surgeon is awesome!! In fact that's what Steve calls him, Dr. Awesome!! We feel very blessed that he was the one who did this because he even admitted that when he opened Joshua up, he didn't think it could be done, but he kept trying different things until it worked. He never gave up and eventually figured out what to do. Because this was so challenging, he has told us that Joshua is one of his favorite patients!! He even presented his case before all the other surgeons at their meeting. We can really see God's hand in everything that has happened. From the timing of my waterbreaking, which allowed his surgery to be at just the right time health wise, but was also the right time to get this doctor (any earlier or later and we would've had a different dr.) and all the other details just working out. It's truly amazing. Even though this is so difficult, we know for sure that we are blessed beyond words.

As far as me, I'm doing well. My pain had decreased a lot and I'm able to finally stand up without that excruciating pain. I'm still on blood pressure meds and that's been helping it a lot, but it still isn't down to normal range. I'm glad it's getting better though.

Yesterday we had Abby's birthday party at Build a Bear. It went very well and I think she felt really special which was the goal!! I can't believe she's about to be 7 on Thursday!! That's just crazy!! I kept worrying about how I was going to pull off the party. We had it scheduled 3 different times!! But luckily our family and friends are very accommodating and we were able to get it all pulled together in just a day!! I was able to run around and get everything done in one hour before the party. I had a lot of stuff already, but in that hour we got the balloons, cake and drinks for the party and then Steve got pizza. We set up a little party area down at the food court of the mall. It turned out really well. I'm so relieved it went well and it's over!!

Well I 'm hoping to turn this blog into sort of a daily journal for this time in our lives. So as long as I remember, I'm going to update daily with what happened that day. I want to remember this time and be able to share it with Joshua some day as well and if these past 10 days are any indication of how well my memory is going to be of this time, I know I better write it down!! So here's just a little update for today to remember (Sunday September 20), they are upping the calories on TPN (the liquid food) because he's still losing weight every day (just a little). They inserted the replogle line (the tube from the nose to the stomach) deeper and were able to pull out more of the stomach contents which seemed to make him feel a little better. The stuff coming out is still greenish although getting clearer, but it is still a high amount. He is having some bowel movements from the bottom portion, but nothing from the top portion yet. That's what we're really waiting for to happen so we can feed him. He's still pretty irritable. Last night was his first ride in the swing and he liked it for a bit. Today he got a music box and seemed to enjoy that some. He got his third wubba nub (pacifier attached to a little stuffed animal) today after I dropped one. Today's was the blue horse. He's having lots of visitors today as it's the last day for them to see him. We're on the list for a private room and will hopefully get that soon. Oh and he's still super cute!! That's it for now.

So hopefully I can update daily to keep track of everything for myself and for all of you to see how we're progressing. Thanks for all the prayers. We definitely need them!!

Quick Hello

I just wanted to say a quick hello.  The baby is doing well.  Our goal today is to get him off of the ventilator.  To do that we have to wean him off the morphine drip.  They will start giving him pain meds as needed instead of constant now.  He's been alert and looking around the last two days.  He always wakes up when the kids come see him.  I think that makes them feel good.  

I'm doing ok.  I"ve mostly healed except I have this one spot on the right end of my incision that absolutely kills me.  I still have to take my pain meds to even get out of a chair.  When the meds are wearing off, the pain just takes my breath away and I'm so tired of it.  Nobody seems to know what it is.  I had my staples out yesterday and I really hoped that would help but it didn't.  Hopefully it'll get better soon.

It's been very hard dealing with all of this emotionally for me as well.  I mean new moms are already horomonal and adding this to it, is just crazy.  I have so much mom guilt right now it's crazy.  I want to spend all my time with all 3 kids and I just can't yet, so that brings up lots of guilt.  

Well, I need to go now.  Please keep praying for us.

Surgery Over

Surgery went well. He's doing great. They removed the cyst, which was apparently a very difficult procedure, but he came through it. He's still intubated and under anesthesia. His prognosis is good, but we still have a little work to do in a few months. Another surgery will be necessary in 3 months, but not anything terribly serious. I'm just too tired for details right now, I'm sorry. But just know that he is doing well, he is resting, he looks terribly cute even with all the tubes and things. I'm exhausted and have had a terrible migraine ever since leaving my hospital this morning. But I"m doing better and am going to rest now. We're finally on the road to recovery and I'm so thankful for that. God was definitely with Joshua today, even the Dr. said so (although he didn't realize it was God who was doing those miraculous cool things). He just proves to me over and over that it's all in His very capable hands.

Surgery Scheduled

The baby's surgery is scheduled around noon today. We'll finally have all the answers after that! I'm being discharged soon. I'm so relieved. I should be able to be there when he gets out of surgery, and if I'm lucky maybe get a chance to see him before he goes in. The kids are seeing him right now before they head off to Kings Island. So things are looking up here and I have a new spring in my step. I just can't wait to have the surgery over and begin the road to recovery. Please pray for the doctors and nurses and of course for Joshua. This is not just a simple little surgery. So just keep praying and I'll update soon.

Love you all!

Joshua update and pics

Steve took these with our iphone and sent them to me. He's cute isn't he!!!

He was tested for all kinds of things yesterday and they found out that his intestine is blocked and is blocked by an atresia (click on the word atresia to find out what it is) and will require surgery. I'm not sure of the location pf the atresia, but I know it's lower in the intestinal tract. We should know more about when the surgery will be sometime today.

I have a chance of getting released today, but I still have issues with blood pressure and low potassium. I'm hopeful I'll get out though and finally get my chance to hold him. I know that will help lower my blood pressure some!!

With our family split up in so many different places, the stress of that is getting to us all. Eliminating this hospital will help I'm sure. One of the problems is just communication between Steve and I. He's not allowed to call from our phone on the whole wing there, so he has to completely leave the floor to call me and that's been difficult for him to do and then I just can only sit here and wonder what's going on until he can call. Plus we're all so sleep deprived right now (Steve more than me as I got a little sleep just now), so that's making things harder as well.

Abby and Noah are doing pretty well. You can kind of tell that they're a bit uneasy about all of this too, but they're doing well. They would love to see their brother again, but haven't gotten to yet. They;re actually going to Kings Island today with some family and I'm glad they get to go out and have some fun and take their little minds off things for now. That helps my stress level too!!

Well I better go for now. I need to pump again and maybe rest a little more. I'll update again when I can. Thanks for all the prayers and visits. It means a lot to us all.

Air Show

We took the kids to a local airshow tonight. It was fun and raised my already high blood pressue up a few notches!! The kids enjoyed it, but was kind of "over it" by about the 6th or 7th act. These are two cute pics I got. Abby is holding her ear because that plane was loud as it zoomed by so close and Noah looks so cute looking up at the flying acrobatics!! Nice family fun and free to boot!!

C-Section It Is!

Well I had my regular OB appointment yesterday.  I'm doing well, gained a couple pounds, still had relatively high blood pressure, but still not a huge concern.  So we discussed with him our options as far as delivery goes and we considered three big things.

1.  My delivery history - I had trouble delivering Abby, she was stuck after the head was delivered but fortunately the Dr. was able to sort of twist her out safely.  This could happen again as it could be a problem with the anatomy of my bones and not just that she was a bigger baby (8lbs 8ozs).  

2.  This baby's position and condition - With him being breech already and with the extended belly, it just wasn't something we all felt would be a good idea to risk.

3.   Scheduling - In normal circumstances, I hate scheduling the births of babies.  I so wanted our baby to come "naturally" when he was ready, but because of the circumstances we're in, scheduling makes the most sense.  We have to have a whole team of people ready to go and it'll be much easier if we can have them ready ahead of time.  Now granted, I could go into labor early and if that's the case, we will have to scramble, but everything will be fine (the Dr. reassured me!).  At the hospital I deliver at we have to have a neonatologist ready to insert an NG tube immediately, then we have to have the transport people ready and then the doctors and nurses at Children's will have to ready for his arrival.  So that's a lot of people to organize (and it's so nice that they do all the scheduling for you!).

So with all of those things to consider, a c-section was the best option.  Now I know I have been really "down" on c-sections, and it's not so much that I hate the procedure itself, but I just have a few things that really bother me about it, especially for this birth.  First of all, I worry about all the extra complications that can occur with a birth of this type.  I mean it's surgery, there are a lot more risks and complications and plus I'll need a lot more meds, which I try in general to avoid.  

Second, and this is by far the most important to me, with the c-section I'll have a much longer recovery time at my hospital while my son is away undergoing his own surgery and recovery without me.  That just tears me up.  I've only had to do this surgery thing one time with my kids so far and that was Abby's tonsils and I would've never for a second not been there from the beginning to the end, holding her and comforting her.  And at this point, it'll most likely be at least a day after his surgery that I'll be able to be with him and I hate that.  I hate thinking about sitting in my hospital room for like two days at least without my baby. 

Now, please don't misunderstand.  I'm completely grateful for the medical interventions that we have available to us, even if I may not "want" to use them.  I realize that if my baby had been born like 100 years ago or something, he probably would've died.  So even saying that I'm grateful, seems like an understatement.  I'm more than grateful.  But I just hate that it has come down to this.  That I have to use these helps.  

But I also know this is all in God's hands.  He has so graciously bestowed on us some awesome doctors and a local hospital that is tops for taking care of babies.  He worked all that out for us without our knowing it and we could not be more thankful.  We were in the perfect place when Abby was born, with a doctor he could deliver her with all the problems safely and now we're in the perfect place for this baby to be born.  And it's all because of Him.  He always works it out for the best of those who believe.  And He certainly is in this case.  I know that even if I'm not with the baby, He will be and his Daddy will be and that does comfort me.  Our baby will not be alone.

So anyway, the details are:  Tuesday September 29th at 1:00pm is the scheduled day and time of arrival for our new son!  Noah and Abby were both born on Tuesday in the 1:00 pm hour, so as long as our surgery is on time, we'll have a third baby born on a Tuesday in the 1:00 pm hour!!  I love stuff like that, so that excites me!!  Noah was born on Tuesday January 18th, at 1:09pm, and Abby was born on Tuesday September 24th at 1:16pm.  

So that's the news for this week.  I have appointments every week now until delivery.  Plus next week I'm having another ultrasound to check on the baby and make sure the cyst isn't growing too much, too quickly.  So it's 4 weeks from today!  Or 28 days, however you like to think of it!!  Not long!  I need to relax some and try to keep my blood pressure down, but of course I feel like "I have so much to do!"  but I'll spread it all out over the 4 weeks and get it done.  I'm excited to meet him and reveal his name!!