T-minus 93

Today is day 13 of Joshua's life and his stay in the hospital which means we have 93 days to go until Christmas, our goal! Daddy sat him up for this picture. I thought it was cute!! Tiffany, if you read this, that's the outfit you got him for his shower that he's wearing under the blanket!!

Today was a bit rough for all of us. Joshua had a few minor procedures, but he doesn't really enjoy any kind of procedure. They began the dilation of his illiostomy, hoping to get it moving. That one didn't bother him too much. Then he had a dressing change for his PICC line (a central iv that goes straight to the heart) and he was not at all happy about that one. Then during the dressing change and his major fit, the line pulled out a tad and they had to order an x-ray to check it's position. Luckily on this floor, that means they bring an x-ray machine to him. So during that, he threw another fit and we found out that indeed the line is not where they want it. So tomorrow, we have to go down to radiology to have a new line put in the same position as the old one. He will not enjoy that either I"m sure! Then because he was so upset with all that, even just the nurses assessments which happen about every 4 hours, really made him angry too. So he wasn't too relaxed today. I think he really just hates the being held down part of most of the procedures, he doesn't enjoy that at all.

I had a migraine most of the day. I think it's stress related. I'm still registering pretty high blood pressure and when I add stress to that, I tend to get a headache these days. I've also been dealing with a lot of the Mom guilt today and this evening I've really been missing my baby. I've sort of gotten used to his little sounds and grunts that he makes and I thought for a split second that I heard him here at home and then of course I remembered that he's not here. That kind of hurt. So I've been kind of down tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for us all.

Oh and just a quick update, he lost a tad bit of weight, but he was also weighed on a different scale this time. His output from his nasal tube turned back to a dark green this morning (not good), but cleared up some by this afternoon (good). Still nothing coming out of him, but maybe soon.

Tomorrow is my darling baby girl's 7th birthday! I'm going to decorate for her tonight as a surprise for her in the morning and I'm going to make her a special breakfast before I leave for the hospital. Then Daddy rented her Beverly Hills Chihuahua and she's going to watch that in the theater downstairs. We already had her party this past Saturday. I'll probably make her favorite food for dinner too, it's just macaroni and cheese! I hope it's enough to make her feel special. Oh no, there goes the Mommy guilt again. I hope she knows I'm doing my best.

Well that's it for now. Goodnight.