Sunday, February 18, 2007
My decision
Well I've just give a quick overview of my big decision so the inquiring minds can know!! It's about my nephew Riley. I've been watching him for my brother and his wife for about 4 months now and it's become incresingly clear that this just isn't going to work for me. First of all their schedules are never completely set until the actual moment it happens and my family is very busy and very scheduled. Both children are in school and with that comes, projects, parties, field trips,etc...that are planned long in advance. Plus they are both in different activities..basketball, karate, dance, church choir, etc...and all of that is also planned. Trying to work in taking care of an infant to all of this just isn't going well. Plus, when he's here, he's demands a lot of my attention, so much that I really can not be there for more own children other than basic necessities. Sometimes I can't even make meals for them without the help of my husband whose supposed to be working in his own office. Riley's used to being the only child to a very loving and attentive mother and when he's here he's the third child to a very loving but very busy aunt!! I love him dearly, but I can not be the best mother and wife when I have to take care of him as well. I feel stretched very thin and can not be good at any of my duties. I feel like my own family has to be my first priority and this has become a big stressful problem amongst us, and I truly felt like it was time to tell them I wouldn't be able to continue being his caregiver. I gave them two or three weeks to find another solution, and I just pray that they're not upset with me, but I just can't do it all anymore, it's just too much. I have felt guilt over this decision because I worry about them finding someone else, but sometimes I think you just have to be selfish when it comes to your family and put them first so you can devote your time and effort to them. When I told my sister-in-law Friday, she was very sweet and polite about it, but I haven't heard anything else. I hope their not mad and that they understand. I wish I could help them more, but it really has just been so hard. I feel so relieved though. Now, like Sonya said, I can just be his aunt and spoil him and love him, but not have him as part of our everyday life!! I still hope I've made the right decison, I guess only time wil tell!!
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3 comments:
Girl! I did home daycare for a couple of years and it is sooo much work and it does take your attention away from your own kids when you have babies. I HAD to do it due to financial reasons but I feel strongly that if you don't financially need to watch other kids, then don't. Feel blessed that you can stay home with your children and devote all of your time and attention to them.....alot of us would kill to be able to do that! You made the right decision. Maybe you can offer to be their backup sitter. Don't feel guilty, things will work out for them.
Chrissy really said what I was going to. You are very lucky to NOT have to work and so if that is one of your gifts from God, use it. I mean He meant for you to devote your time to your kids. There may be a time where you will have to work outside of the home(hopefully not) so now that you don't have to, spend it with your kids. I mean, just cleaning the mansion takes longer than it does to work an 8 hour day. I mean 4 bathrooms? You don't got it that good. You made the right choice. I am sure of it mostly because I know your heart and your love for children and especially your nephew. God sees and knows your heart and He will reward your efforts.
I'm sure you made the right decision for you and your family! I agree, you do need to be selfish sometimes when it comes to your family. They take priority.
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